"Stop Missing Your Life" (2019) - Book Review
MY REVIEW
Hardcover: 256
pages
Publisher: Da
Capo Lifelong Books (December 31, 2019)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0738285293
ISBN-13: 978-0738285290
Click picture for purchase link
“Many of us live on autopilot, often so guarded that we
don't experience the richness that life has to offer. How can we
find real happiness amid the chaos, so we don't reach the end of
our life and feel like we missed it?
In Stop Missing Your Life, mindfulness
teacher Cory Muscara takes us on a journey into the heart of what is required
for real change, growth, and happiness. He exposes how the phrase "be
present" has become little more than a platitude, imbued with the
misguided message to be present just for the sake of being present, and reveals
how to achieve true Presence:
a quality of being that is unmistakably attractive about a person, and one that
only comes when we've peeled back the layers of guarding that prevent us from
being our full, honest, and integrated selves in the world.
Muscara
shows how we build internal walls, what he describes as a "Pain Box"
inhibiting us from living a deeply connected and meaningful life. He offers a
four-part FACE model (Focus, Allow, Curiosity, and Embodiment) that helps chip
away at those walls and builds our capacity to experience the richness of our
lives Stop Missing Your Life ultimately
teaches how we can find peace in the chaos and become better people for our
families, our communities, and our world.”
Thank you in advance to the
publisher, Hachette Books, and Bookish First for providing a complimentary
review. A positive review was not required. All words and thoughts are my own.
In a world of laptops, tablets,
and smart phones – things that are meant to improve our life – we’re often
disconnected from that life when we try to connect to what we think is our
life.
Muscara, as a mindfulness
teacher, takes the reader through a non-religious and psychology free journey
to find mindfulness and presence in a life that is anything but “present”. In
fact, being “present” has become more of a platitude than an attitude.
For those looking for
“presence” and “mindfulness” types of books without religion or spirituality,
readers will be pleased to know this doesn’t contain those elements. The only
mention of religion is what he learned at a monastery.
Muscara starts off with a bit
of humor and a presentation about a speaker in his business class. And, using
his six month stint at a monastery in Burma, he takes readers through a journey
of how to finding the presence after peeling away the layers keeping us from
enjoying life. He even points out that parts of the books are not positive and
uplifting. But, it is meant to get us to see what walls we consciously or
unconsciously put up. From the traumas in our lives to how hard it is to be us,
this is a slow, self-guided journey.
There are some parts that might
make readers uncomfortable. Others might have no issue with them.
For those “always connected”
people – he doesn’t tackle the electronic devices until chapter 11, more
specifically page 193. This is the part that I truly enjoyed.
Muscara walks readers through a
“device detox” (my term for it). He starts with meditating with your phone. I
am not kidding. There are questions (non workbook style) for the exercise. He
asks the whens, wheres, whys, hows of the phone connect – use, apps, and social
media.
Using Marie Kondo’s much
maligned book “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up”, Muscara goes into
cleaning up the apps that clutter our devices. How to remove them and turn of
notifications (to stop the constant pinging). His target is things that do not
bring joy, inspire, or non-essential.
On page 201, he discusses
social media – Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.
It is here where I already heed
the advice he gives; and have been for the past five (5) years. He starts off
with wondering what if our feeds were filled with only the things we enjoy.
And, believe it or not – that was my take when I started “social media
housecleaning”. Pushing off from that, he recommends something I already do:
unfriend, unfollow, and/or mute.
But, he also gives permission,
though it isn’t needed but helps to reaffirm our decision to completely
unfriend people not positively serving our well-being, challenging us, or
growing our perspectives. Another option, on Facebook, is to unfollow their
feed. Again, I have been doing this as well. So, I have to agree with the
author’s methodology on this tactic.
It does work. While I see
people complaining about what they’re seeing on social media, I am smiling
because what I see brings me more joy than angst.
I like how he situated the
chapter towards the end of the book so as not to state “social media is your
problem” right off.
RATING:
4 ⭐⭐⭐⭐/5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐–
Goodreads
4 ⭐⭐⭐⭐/5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐–
Bookbub
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Cory
Muscara is an international speaker and teacher on the topics of presence and
well-being. He has taught mindfulness-based leadership at Columbia University,
and currently serves as an instructor of positive psychology at the University
of Pennsylvania.
In
2012, Cory spent six months in silence living as a monk in Burma, meditating
14-20 hours each day under the instruction of the late Sayadaw U Pandita.
Cory’s
meditations have been heard more than 10 million times in over 50 countries. He
brings these teachings to people in a practical and useable way, presenting to
schools, organizations, and healthcare systems, as well as through workshops and
retreats for the general public. Cory is from Long Island, New York.
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